Juergen is excited and tells his friend: "Hey, just imagine, yesterday I was at a party, really great, I can tell They were super refined platinum cutlery, marble table and so on - and the greatest thing.. They had even golden toilets. ""I think you drank too much," said the friend and smiled incredulously. Jürgen proposes a friend to see for themselves, and they go together to make the acquaintance, ring and explain the reason for their visit. Then the lady of the house: "Francis, come on down, here we have the pig, which has peed in the French horn!"

The new teacher, young, beautiful and with a super figure is the swarm of all the boys in the class. Today she writes on the blackboard as Fritz suddenly screams: "'Teacher's shaved under her right arm!" "Fritz," she says, "That was very naughty! Go home, now I will not see you anymore!"
Ok, Fritz goes home and is not the least bit mad for having the day off. The next day, the teacher writes something with your left hand, and Fritz: "The left arm is also shaved!" "That's it," says the teacher. "Go home, this week you need not even show up. And I'm calling your parents too!"
Fritz experienced 3 wonderful non-school days. On Monday, he reappears in the classroom. Until the 4th Hours everything is all right. But then some chalk falls to the floor and she bends down to pick it up. "That's it guys," Fritz calls and takes his school bag, "I see you again next year!"

Source: Witze über Witze

Hunter jokes #1

Two hunters go through the woods when one of them collapses suddenly. He does not seem to breathe, his eyes are glassy. The other fighter grabs his phone and pressed the emergency call. "I think my friend is dead, what should I do?" He asks in a panic. "Easy," he is told. "Convince yourself first whether he is really dead." Silence, then a shot is heard. The hunter asks, "Well, what now?"


Hunter jokes # 2

At the meeting in the Hunter Round: Says one: "There are dogs that are much smarter than their owners." "Yes," says Hansi the young hunters proudly, "I've got one of those."


Hunter jokes # 3

A hunter comes home and catches his wife while fucking with his best friend in bed. He runs to the gun cabinet, takes out his gun and shoots him. Then his wife: "If you do so on you have no more friends soon!"

Source: Witze über Witze

A man walks into a pub and sits down at the counter. When the waiter asks what he wants, he replies: "I bet you a beer that I have something in my pocket, you've seen it before!" The host who knows every trick goes, one of the bet. Then the host opens his jacket pocket and pulls out a small 30cm large male, and places it on the counter. The male looks like the famous author Shtong and goes along the counter, shakes the hand of each guest and says, "good day, very pleased, my name is Shtong, I am man of letters." The landlord, who has seen something never before, is completely out of the house and asked him where he got the male. Then he answers the guest: "Go out, down the road until you come to a corner with a lantern to the lantern and then rub it appears to you a fairy godmother.." The host runs off immediately, arrives at the lantern, and followed the instructions of the guest. Then the good fairy appears to him and granted him a wish. The landlord does not take long and says: "I would like 5 million in small bills." The fairy taps her wand on the lantern and 'Puff ...', the host has 5 melons in the hand and around him a lot of little pigs. Pissed off he goes back to his pub and sees his guest is still standing at the counter. He walks over to him and scolded, "Your fairy is probably hard of hearing, I wanted 5 million in small bills and get 5 melons and a lot of little pigs." Since the guest says: "Clearly she's hard of hearing, or thought you all seriousness, I wish a 30 cm wide Shtong?" Source: Witze ueber Witze

The farmer comes earlier than agreed to return home and caught his wife in bed with the servant. He beats him whacked When the servant comes back to, he is in the barn on a tool bench, is stark naked and his best piece is clamped in a vise. Confused, he looks around and sees how the farmer is sharpening a knife. Horrified, he cries: "Good heavens, you are not cut HIM?" Dirty grin puts the knife next to the farmer's servant, saying: "No, no, you are allowed to do it myself I'm going out and set fire to the barn."

On a promotional tour of America before the 2004 election, President George W. Bush visited a school where the students and explained his government's policies. Then he asks the children to ask questions. The little Bob takes the floor: Mr. President, I have three questions: First How did you even though you have lost the vote count, won the election anyway? Second Why do you want to attack Iraq for no reason? Third Do not think that was the bomb on Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all time? At this moment the recess bell rings and all the students walk out of the classroom. When they come back from the break, President Bush again invited to ask questions, and this time Joey takes the word: Mr. President, I have five questions: First How did you even though you have lost the vote count, won the election anyway? Second Why do you want to attack Iraq for no reason? Third Do not think that was the bomb on Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all time? 4th Why did the recess bell rang 20 minutes earlier today? 5th Where is Bob?

An attorney has his office conjures up problems and therefore the devil. Comes promptly, and said:. "This week we have a special offer you will get perfect health, win each process, are irresistible to women, your tennis serve is not to catch every morning you know, stock prices the next day, and your breath is gone. For this, I immediately get your wife and children, and will forever burn in hell. Well, what do you say? " The lawyer is taken aback, his eyes narrow to slits, he pulls the hot air - then he says: ". Wait a minute somewhere but there must be a catch ..." Source: jokes about jokes